Well I am not getting married, nowhere near, actually, and damn proud of it (read: not singlewoman destined for spinsterhood bitterness, but Wellesley alum content in her skin). So as many girls my age are polishing their rocks (or oil up their ring fingers in acquivering anticipation of said rock) or seeking out the best bridesmaid dresses, wedding guest frocks and so forth (I cannot tell you how many help me emails along those lines I receive), I give you my anti-bride fashion anecdote: the black widow wardrobe. I know it's a cliche, that the devil who wears Prada also swallows her men whole for a low-fat breakfast, but there's no denying that the lifestyle of a fashionista, be you print, online, locked in a cupboard, whatever, is one which leaves very little room for a budding romance or semblance of a personal life outside the sartorial circus. It's not that I'm a commitment-phobe, I'm just, like a nun, married to shoes and bags as if they were my Lord and Savoir. I shop for my sins and the ding ding of wedding bells, be they my own or those of others, are starting to ring incessantly in my ears and I wish it would just...stop...for...a...minute so those of us who are not eagerly changing our facebook relationship status could actually stop for a minute and smell the unengaged flowers.
So here's my dream non-wedding post a la black widow, complete with a healthy dosing of all things non romantic and black leather, skulls and some especially comfy and non-sexy granny pants. If you like it, don't even try to put a ring on it...
 |
| Roberto Cavalli Spider Swarovski crystal ring £270 |
 | |
| Alexander McQueen Silk and lace dress £2870 Alexander McQueen Snakeskin skull clutch £925 Christian Louboutin Fortitia 100 sandal £550 | |
 |
L'Wren Scott Leather-trimmed lace hat £450 Alexander McQueen Strong-shouldered leather trench coat £5300 Christian Louboutin Clou Noeud 150 studded slingbacks £755 |
 |
| Balmain Military wool jacket £5000 Joseph Waxed skinny leather pants £695 Calvin Klein Perfectly Fit Bouquet bra £30 Alexander McQueen Enamel skull ring £69 Fendi Chain-trimmed suede sandals £550 |
 |
Maison Martin Margiela Strappy-back silk gown £1350 Alexander Wang Polina goat fur leather boots £820 |
 |
| La Perla Sheer lace robe £500 Calvin Klein Seductive comfort bikini brief £20 Jean Yu Alter Ego silk-charmeuse bra £350 VPL Maxi jersey nightdress £255 |
 |
Melissa Odabash Ronna lace kaftan £200 Emilio Pucci Asymmetric cutout swimsuit £300 Tom Ford Ace acetate aviator-frame sunglasses £300 Rick Owens Black leather gladiator boots £950  |
25 Whisper-backs:
LOL wait til they start having kids!!!
the anti-groom is great and i LOVE the anti-wedding gown outfit, Margiela is a genius, sigh.
HAHA!
LOVE this post, it's so great & funny
plus i understand your tweet on google " hot black male" now !
I think i prefer the grooms outfit to the brides :O
Though, those alexander wang boots are AMAZING!!!
abi.x
I am Abimarvel.
I know it's a tough call between bride and groom. I love the idea of wearing that ridiculous Balmain coat over a bra and prancing down the anti-aisle. The Alexander Wang boots are definitely enough to get me to sign a prenup...
xx
I LOVE the spiderweb train!
xx
I can totally see Mamma Whisperer rocking the motehr of the anti-bride outfit lol x
PS I totally get to be one of the anti-bridesmaids! Can I wear the Bottega?? xx
OH I KNOW!!! I picked it especially for her!!!
xx
oh god, don't want to go there...I am developing a slow but sure prejudice against the phenom of the 40 something first time mother. they simply think they run the world because god at long last blessed their barren wombs with a screaming, pooping infant and we should all part like the Red Sea wherever they go. Sorry, I live in Notting Hill, I can't help it, I'm outnumbered!
xx
Bagsies on the JMcD dress!
If only Miss Havisham lived now, she's not be content with rotting away in her mansion, she'd have a Margiela redecoration and this wardrobe. ;)
very good
I have an aversion to the concept of being "anti" an established concept because doing so merely confirms the latter as the norm, which is essentially counterproductive of the aims of the "other". Forming your opinion or style choices passively based on being the opposite still forces the guidelines of the cocept you're up agains - for instance - the black ring - it's stil la ring, still a gown, still a party., still a mother-in-law. The idea is essentially along the same lines and celebrating what you didnt' want to celebrate in the first place.
I personally think the best way to be truly anti marriage is, as you said, to be comfortable in your own skin and not go along with any of the dramatic boo-haa. That's what atually is the opposite - and the opinion is active, not passive, formed on the comfort of the way of life that is your own, not formed alongside another's perception.
Just sayin'... and of course, as you know, I quite agree and wish to make a very non-academic point: Marriages are daft. They are a boring norm, an imposition of categorical idiocy through systems such as religion and laws, which in no way attribute any real value to a relationship. iF you're in a good relationship, what do you need to get married for? If you need a marriage to establish your relationship, you probably shouldn't be in it. And my last point - I'm all up for a big party and awesome dresses and spending ridiculous amounts of money. It would make it a lot more enjoyable, however, if the subject of said party wasn't such a fabricated concept but more tangible - for example the celebration of anniversaries: Being in a relationship for 10 - 25 - 50 years. Now THAT is real and deserves the boo - haa , don't you think?
p.s. I frigging love the Balmain Jacket!
over 50 % of my school year now have kids and were all either 20 or 21. its scary. also the marriage thing? wats te rush. me and my bf have been together nearly 4 years and were happy as we are!
love all the black!
such good fun this post! LOVE the anti-ring! xo
I agree! no rush!!!
xx
I agree! no rush!!!
xx
Oh Lira my dear, I love your passion and ardor on this subject. Contrary to all of the above, I am not anti-marriage, per se, just anti-marriage today. It just seems like when I turned 24 all of a sudden there was this barrage of engagements, announcements and the odd baby or two...It all happened so fast? Where did the time go? Our youth? Because I feel like I'm just starting out...
As it seems to me a talisman of our generation that wedding announcements are now universally sent out via Twitter--who needs the NY Times? It's like in SATC, where the wedding announcement section is like sport for the girls--our generation's version is social media. Wedding pics, changing statuses, and so on and so forth. I'm just sick of looking at it. So I wanted to do a bit of a spoof on the subject to kind of underscore the point that at this stage in our life, there's nothing wrong with being me me me and focused on building your career and finding out who you are going to be as a mature responsible adult human being. No kids, no mortgage, now's the time to blow your starting salary on wonky Margiela dresses that chances are, you won't want to be flaunting in twenty, thirty years' time.
And I completely agree with you that marriage is but a label, a piece of paper, and nothing proves love like the good old test of time.
xx
except that the price tag may actually be scarier than the legally eternally binding act of marriage itself! £5K EEEEK!
xx
tis yours my dear, when you are anti-maid of non-honor. And yes, just imagine what the spinsters of yore could have accomplished with Net-a-Porter at their side!!!
xx
wow, thanks for this. Even though I hope to one day be in a serious whatever, I'm kinda sick of everyone rushing into and showing off their domestic attachments and frankly blame reality tv in part for this kind of non-stop on display relationship status that is running the social world now it seems. Not to mention, how many of these people will still be together 8 years from now? Makes me wonder how much of it is a show to prove to themselves that they are happy now that they've gotten their wish?
As a confirmed bachelor and just a tad older the Clothes Whisperer ( a mere century or so ) I fully concur with her, and I ask myself... why do people feel the need or have the desire to marry so young? The way I see it is like this... if you're young vibrant healthy and at your peak why rush into things? You're a long time old (if you're lucky) so make the most of your youth while it lasts and enjoy life to to the full and settle down and marry a little later if need be... you know it makes sense! ;)
Markus, you will make a beautiful anti-bride one of these days :)
xx
One teeny tiny gripe though, if I were to choose the spoils of my anti-divorce, I'd go for the So Black Birkin, as opposed to regular black birkin. ;)
Net-a-Porter, the spinster's discerning wardrobe - why blow life saving's on wedding when you can fritter it away on sartorial frivolities over time?
xoxo
love it! love that its all black!!
Post a Comment