A Sale of a Tale

The endless queuing outside Vivienne's Battersea studio pre-sale

With the world's economy still catching its breath after a near fatal date with disastrous Depression-style disaster, wars being fought on multiple Middle Eastern fronts, and a national debt back home pushing $13bn, you would seriously think that the world has bigger problems than who is going to walk away from the Vivienne Westwood biannual sample sale triumphantly clutching that last pair of size 38 pirate boots. Apparently not. According to one reader who was so kind as to drop me an email after his horrifying sample sale-ing experience on Saturday (after the madhouse last time, I decided to skip the long trip to her Battersea studio): a stampede of shoplifters and a few Westwood fanatics resorted to violence in their pursuit of marked down Red Label.

"It was very upsetting to see all the stuff strewn on the floor or rammed into cardboard boxes ready for vultures to get their sticky mits onto," Christopher, who was able to catch a few snaps on his phone as the fighting broke out, recounts.

I mean, I know it's good. Last time, I managed to unearth a Gold Label puff sleeve cropped blazer for £80 (£900+retail) and two pairs of boots at £100 each (normally at £600+). But really, full on physical contact? The only time I've really seen things come to near blows at a sale was back at Prada in Rome about five years ago when a Japanese tourist and an Italian vixen both landed their paws on the same (and last) slouchy tote at the exact same moment and the battle of East versus West was unleashed. But it's shopping, people, not Survivor or American Gladiator--last woman standing still gripping all her shopping bags wins!

But I suppose hard times are hard times, and given that crime rates inevitably rise during times of recession and prolonged periods of persisting unemployment, it was only a matter of time before cut throat fashionistas (who make no money to begin with anyway) got the taste for blood and started wielding their stilettos with a vengeance. But really, if your going to turn to a life of crime and violence to bolster your wardrobe, why do so at a raggedy sample sale full of last season's (and even further back) unwanted and damaged goods? If I were ever to turn to that dark path, it would be in the form of Mission Impossible style stealth heist of the whole of the second and third floors at Harvey Nichs only once the newborn creations of SS10 had hit shop floors.

So I say to those fanatic sample-sale ruining Anglomaniacs: It's ONLY FASHION, you're a disappointment to the Dame.

Seen something? Heard something? Got some snaps? Take a cue from Christopher and be a part of the whispering yourself. Send your stories and experiences to theclotheswhisperer@gmail.com! It takes two to whisper...

Pushing pushing...

One hungry shopper makes a lunge for it